Sorry about the accident and I'm glad everyone is ok. Call their insurance and use these words, "I believe in keeping everyone's insurance costs down just as your company does. As my car was wrecked through no fault of my own, I must insist that it is returned, as-close-as-possible, to its original specifications and to do that you need to use OEM parts. We have this single opportunity to do this by you agreeing to my request. Failing that, I will have to engage legal counsel which will drive the cost of this claim up exponentially. Can you help keep our insurance costs down by agreeing to this request right now?"
I've done both times my M6 was hit through sheer driver stupidity and they accused with no questions asked about OEM parts and the adjustments including the $475 front end alignment when they only budgeted about $85. They wanted absolutely nothing to do with an attorney being engaged.
Good luck-mk
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