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This is a tough thing/position to be in: on the one hand, it’s hard for anyone here to help. On the other, I don’t want to ignore such posts because it would be terrible if you just wanted someone to listen to and nobody pays attention, things might get out of hand. So I am glad you’re venting here.
Depression and anxiety are difficult things to overcome. A lot of it builds up over time and we often don’t catch it. It takes a lot of work and being mindful to recognize the root causes. I’ll offer a few nuggets here for what they’re worth. You are welcome to (and should) vent here. We don’t know each other but if it helps you then why not?
1. The pandemic has been tough on a lot of people; especially if you’re just at home not doing much. Idle hands and mind are the devil’s playground. So pick up a hobby, join a Meetup group, exercise more, read books, etc. Do or learn things that will help develop skills that will be useful in the future.
2. Money is always on people’s mind. It causes stress and anxiety. It puts you in this ditch and it feels like you are never getting out. I’ve been there, made mistakes, learned from it, and got out of it. Not only that, but I am in a much better place because I learned from it. So you need to think and know that you will be fine. Trust in yourself and in the universe. Don’t dwell on things that happened in the past, it would only drive you more anxious and depressed. Think of small steps you can do to move forward.
3. It’s harder said than done but do things and hang out with people that make you happy. Take small steps but start meditating, replace your negative thoughts with positive ones, recognize that you are not your thoughts and that they are just thoughts. Your thoughts don’t define you. It’s very difficult because you’re essentially debunking everything you’ve built up over the decades and rebuilding them. So take it slow.
4. Really be mindful and pay attention to watch makes you sad/anxious. Don’t dwell on them; just note them as thoughts. Then think about point 3 and see what you can do to change the mindset/situation. I can’t stress enough how important it is to believe in yourself and know that everything will work out in the end (if it hasn’t worked out, then it’s not the end). I speak from experience when I say that until you make up your mind that you KNOW and WILL make things better, nothing will change. So you might as well start now.
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