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Golf R only makes sense in your situation if you're getting rid of the GTI. Otherwise, it would be too similar to the current GTI with all the downside you've mentioned.
M2 if you want a manual and no need for 4 doors.
RS3 gets my vote in your situation since it's different enough from the GTI and looks much better than the M2. The 5 pot alone is enough justification!
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