I could kill hours reading these things
http://textsfromlastnight.com/
(413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
(516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
(215): Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.