Golden Rules of Manhood

Tondtar · 11-14-2008, 06:25 PM

Source : www.pointsincase.com
==================================

I. Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.

II. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.

III. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.

However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.

IV. Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game. I lost approximately nine friends last October who felt the need to bust my balls when the Red Sox lost to the Devil's Bitches. Just leave it alone, it's kinder to pick on them for a dead relative.

V. You must never own a cat.

VI. If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:

1. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).
2. Your E90post Bros.
3. Your co-workers.
4. The mailman.
5. The UPS guy.
6. NASA.
....1,485,726. Your girlfriend.

VII. You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick.

VIII. Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.

IX. If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once.

X. There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.

XI. If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.

XII. Standard shotgun rules are as follows.

A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car.
B. Shotgun must be called outside.
C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes.
D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.

XIII. NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Hey, congratulations, another girl can stand the sight of you. You don't need to wear her like a ******* trophy.

XIV. It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."

XV. Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.

XVI. Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team. It doesn't matter how ludicrous the other guy sounds telling you that Jake Plummer was better than Steve McNair last season, let him be.

XVII. When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.

XVIII. Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.

XIX. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

XX. Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.

=========================

And these were added by readers at Rules For Men :

21. In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys.

22. A man should not sing and dance at the same time

23. A man should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.

24. Men do not lie about their age.

25. A Man should not swing his arms when he is walking.

26. A man should never carry a woman's handbag

27. A man should never go tanning.

28. No man should dye their hair

29. A man should never refer to an athlete as a "stud"

30. A man should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.

31. A man should not "pop" his collar.

32. A man should not speak more than two languages.

33. A man should never say "it's to die for"

34. A man should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.

35. A man should not wear an ascot.

36. A man should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.

37. A man should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.

38. A man should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw

39. A man should never wear a blouse.

40. If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.

41. A man should not wear crocs.

42. A man should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.

43. A man should never wear a sweater over his shoulders

44. A man should not eat grapes from the vines

45. A man should never rollerblade

46. The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone

47. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

48. A man should never, ever wear capri pants.

49. A man should not wear flip flops with a suit.

50. No man should wear a Speedo to the beach

51. No man should make a kissing face in a photo.

52. No man should wear girl jeans

53. No man should ever get a pedicure

54. A man should never highlight his hair.

55. A man should not talk to another man in the bathroom.

56. A man should never sing show tunes.

57. A Man should never eat out of another man's hands.

58. Two men should not share an umbrella.

59. A man should not have "an outfit".

60. A man should not wear a white belt.

61. A man should never wiggle out of a pair of pants.

aut0sh0cker · 11-14-2008, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tondtar

36. A man should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.

37. A man should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.

38. A man should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw

Do you make an exception for those of Islamic custom?

Year's_End · 11-14-2008, 07:23 PM

sweet. i passed the whole test of manhood.

FolsomMike · 11-14-2008, 08:15 PM

#30 - 'Brian's Song' is of course an exception.

Blake · 11-14-2008, 08:26 PM

agreed. man law.

xxballinboi786 · 11-29-2008, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aut0sh0cker

Do you make an exception for those of Islamic custom?

I'm going to assume you mean those of Sikh heritage.

xxballinboi786 · 11-29-2008, 06:40 PM

"In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games.""

LOL

asdflkijd · 11-30-2008, 02:52 AM

great read lol haah

BillLee · 01-20-2009, 01:37 PM

60. A man should not wear a white belt.

whats wrong with wearing a white belt?

UltimateBMW · 01-20-2009, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillLee

60. A man should not wear a white belt.

whats wrong with wearing a white belt?

Nothing...

if your gay.

Comet · 01-21-2009, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltimateBMW

Nothing...

if your gay.

what if you're just starting a martial arts? Burn... Man Law fails.
martial arts are totally cool. Learning to become a lethal Weapon is not gay.
You're gay for thinking so...

also I don't like beer.. the drink of commoners. give me a nice port with a cigar anytime instead. Cigars are for men, beer is for slobs.

One must suit up whenever possible.

UltimateBMW · 01-21-2009, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comet

what if you're just starting a martial arts? Burn... Man Law fails.
martial arts are totally cool. Learning to become a lethal Weapon is not gay.
You're gay for thinking so...

also I don't like beer.. the drink of commoners. give me a nice port with a cigar anytime instead. Cigars are for men, beer is for slobs.

One must suit up whenever possible.

But if your just starting, means your a nub. And a nub martial artist is still pretty gay. (Thoughts of the Star Wars kid come to mind.)

So you better hurry up and get better. Graduate out of the homo.

Hedges · 01-21-2009, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltimateBMW

Nothing...

if your gay.

UltimateBMW · 01-21-2009, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comet

also I don't like beer.. the drink of commoners. give me a nice port with a cigar anytime instead. Cigars are for men, beer is for slobs.

Not sure that I totally agree with this. Domestic beer perhaps may fit this role but there are plenty of beers that are quite special and the flavors can be just as deep as any wine, liquor, or spirit. Not to mention that most common binge drinkers don't buy the $9 6packs either. They grab the cheap 30 racks.

I'm not sure I would call Port the upper eschelon of wine or spirits either though. Port tends to be quite sweet. If your concerned about the class of the drink your consume, then its time for you to buy some Johnny Walker Blue.

Comet · 01-21-2009, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltimateBMW

Not sure that I totally agree with this. Domestic beer perhaps may fit this role but there are plenty of beers that are quite special and the flavors can be just as deep as any wine, liquor, or spirit. Not to mention that most common binge drinkers don't buy the $9 6packs either. They grab the cheap 30 racks.

I'm not sure I would call Port the upper eschelon of wine or spirits either though. Port tends to be quite sweet. If your concerned about the class of the drink your consume, then its time for you to buy some Johnny Walker Blue.

not a big fan of whiskey straight
and johnny walker blue? pshhht Remy Martin Louis XIII :P

I like Port.. it goes nice with a cigar. at least for me.

Belgian Beer is decent. Duval... it's good
I just don't like beer. Never been a fan of it. It doesn't go down smooth, it irritates me ,and I can never finish my glass...

also being a white belt is better than being a no-belt
it's less homo

Joonsup · 01-21-2009, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillLee

60. A man should not wear a white belt.

whats wrong with wearing a white belt?

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltimateBMW

Nothing...

if your gay.

Indenial · 01-21-2009, 12:24 PM

lol.

FolsomMike · 01-22-2009, 07:38 PM

Nothing unmanly about beer...as long as it's not "lite".

Did you know that lite beer was invented a few decades ago after a market survey discovered that the biggest complaint of college students (a.k.a. binge drinkers) about beer was that it was too filling to easily drink more than a 6 pack or so. So, the industry geniuses watered it down so those budding alcoholics could consume more of their product before heaving. Hence the successful slogan "tastes great, less filling".

kuvesh · 01-23-2009, 02:45 AM

when i was in my 20's, my brotherhoold had a much shorter list:

1. bros before hoes
2. no bro falls in love
3. no bro gets left behind

until we all slowly stopped playing the field and settled down...

Comet · 01-23-2009, 03:03 AM

u guys should pick up the Bro Code by NPH.
it's very similar and based off my favorite TV character, Barney from How I met your mother

asdflkijd · 01-25-2009, 05:42 AM

These are the most important ones.. once you or your friend(s) decides to break any of the three, you are no longer entitled to be their "buddy", no longer will you call/ text them, no longer will you refer to his name in conversations, and no longer will you talk to the homey hoping 2 cent bag of chicken shit whore that you used to call your "girlfriend".

Oh and the beer rule is a given, I believe this one should actually be first.

I. Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.

II. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.

III. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.

BForbes · 01-26-2009, 09:51 AM

Man, I laughed SO HARD at a bunch of those. A man should not eat out of another man's hands...haha

11-14-2008, 06:25 PM	#1
Tondtar 12 yr old Juvie 1179 Rep 881 Posts Drives: His Mom Crazy Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: El Lay iTrader: (2) Garage List 2008 (RIP in 2011) ... [0.00]	Golden Rules of Manhood Source : www.pointsincase.com ================================== I. Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone. II. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK. III. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time: A. Was an ex-girlfriend. B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her. C. Is you're buddy's sister. However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come. IV. Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game. I lost approximately nine friends last October who felt the need to bust my balls when the Red Sox lost to the Devil's Bitches. Just leave it alone, it's kinder to pick on them for a dead relative. V. You must never own a cat. VI. If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows: 1. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them). 2. Your E90post Bros. 3. Your co-workers. 4. The mailman. 5. The UPS guy. 6. NASA. ....1,485,726. Your girlfriend. VII. You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. VIII. Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift. IX. If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once. X. There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc. XI. If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately. XII. Standard shotgun rules are as follows. A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car. B. Shotgun must be called outside. C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes. D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride. XIII. NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Hey, congratulations, another girl can stand the sight of you. You don't need to wear her like a ***** trophy. XIV. It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games." XV. Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares. XVI. Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team. It doesn't matter how ludicrous the other guy sounds telling you that Jake Plummer was better than Steve McNair last season, let him be. XVII. When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick. XVIII. Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches. XIX. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it. XX. Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable *** since they've gone out with someone. ========================= And these were added by readers at Rules For Men : 21. In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys. 22. A man should not sing and dance at the same time 23. A man should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime. 24. Men do not lie about their age. 25. A Man should not swing his arms when he is walking. 26. A man should never carry a woman's handbag 27. A man should never go tanning. 28. No man should dye their hair 29. A man should never refer to an athlete as a "stud" 30. A man should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with. 31. A man should not "pop" his collar. 32. A man should not speak more than two languages. 33. A man should never say "it's to die for" 34. A man should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat. 35. A man should not wear an ascot. 36. A man should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce. 37. A man should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower. 38. A man should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw 39. A man should never wear a blouse. 40. If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom. 41. A man should not wear crocs. 42. A man should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes. 43. A man should never wear a sweater over his shoulders 44. A man should not eat grapes from the vines 45. A man should never rollerblade 46. The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone 47. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer. 48. A man should never, ever wear capri pants. 49. A man should not wear flip flops with a suit. 50. No man should wear a Speedo to the beach 51. No man should make a kissing face in a photo. 52. No man should wear girl jeans 53. No man should ever get a pedicure 54. A man should never highlight his hair. 55. A man should not talk to another man in the bathroom. 56. A man should never sing show tunes. 57. A Man should never eat out of another man's hands. 58. Two men should not share an umbrella. 59. A man should not have "an outfit". 60. A man should not wear a white belt. 61. A man should never wiggle out of a pair of pants.
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11-14-2008, 07:23 PM	#3
Year's_End Lieutenant General 1281 Rep 12,446 Posts Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	sweet. i passed the whole test of manhood. __________________ Past: '08 E92 335i\|ZPP\|ZSP\|6AT Past: '15 Mustang GT\|401A\|PP\|6MT Current: '20 Shelby GT350\|6MT
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11-14-2008, 08:15 PM	#4
FolsomMike Lieutenant 23 Rep 502 Posts Drives: crimson red 335 cabrio Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Folsom, California iTrader: (0)	#30 - 'Brian's Song' is of course an exception.
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11-14-2008, 08:26 PM	#5
Blake Banned 840 Rep 4,643 Posts Drives: Chevy Aveo Join Date: May 2008 Location: Parent's Basement iTrader: (7)	agreed. man law.
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11-29-2008, 06:40 PM	#7
xxballinboi786 Captain 494 Rep 734 Posts Drives: Lamborghini Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: NY iTrader: (0)	"In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."" LOL
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11-30-2008, 02:52 AM	#8
asdflkijd Aberry is a scammer 613 Rep 5,507 Posts Drives: SGM E92 335i, AM E90 335i Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Seattle, WA iTrader: (14) Garage List 2008 E92 335i [10.00] 2007 E90 335i (Reti ... [9.00]	great read lol haah
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01-20-2009, 01:37 PM	#9
BillLee Major General 730 Rep 5,382 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: HTX iTrader: (21) Garage List 09 E92 M3 [9.00]	60. A man should not wear a white belt. whats wrong with wearing a white belt? __________________ Follow me on instagram: billy.by
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01-21-2009, 12:24 PM	#17
Indenial Hotdog Vendor 27 Rep 283 Posts Drives: a 335 hoe Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Las Vegas, NV iTrader: (1)	lol.
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01-22-2009, 07:38 PM	#18
FolsomMike Lieutenant 23 Rep 502 Posts Drives: crimson red 335 cabrio Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Folsom, California iTrader: (0)	Nothing unmanly about beer...as long as it's not "lite". Did you know that lite beer was invented a few decades ago after a market survey discovered that the biggest complaint of college students (a.k.a. binge drinkers) about beer was that it was too filling to easily drink more than a 6 pack or so. So, the industry geniuses watered it down so those budding alcoholics could consume more of their product before heaving. Hence the successful slogan "tastes great, less filling".
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01-23-2009, 02:45 AM	#19
kuvesh Lieutenant 27 Rep 513 Posts Drives: e92 335i juiced Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: singapore iTrader: (1)	when i was in my 20's, my brotherhoold had a much shorter list: 1. bros before hoes 2. no bro falls in love 3. no bro gets left behind until we all slowly stopped playing the field and settled down... __________________ HAMANN FRONT APRON, SIDES, ROOF SPOILER & QUAD DIFFUSER \| VORSTEINER VRS TRUNK \| CSC3 ON 19” ADVAN RS \| BREMBO GT BBK \| BASTUCK QUAD \| KW V2 \| JB3 v1.3s beta \| BMW PERFORMANCE STEERING WHEEL \| M3 SIDE MIRRORS \| M5 SMG SHIFT KNOB \| BLACKOUT GRILLS \| PARTIALLY SMOKED LIGHTS \| WINDOW TINT
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01-23-2009, 03:03 AM	#20
Comet Troll Harder 433 Rep 596 Posts Drives: 997 GT3, 997 4 GTS, X6M Join Date: May 2007 Location: Montreal, Beirut iTrader: (0) Garage List 2011 Porsche GT3 [8.00] 2012 Porsche 4 GTS [5.34]	u guys should pick up the Bro Code by NPH. it's very similar and based off my favorite TV character, Barney from How I met your mother __________________
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01-25-2009, 05:42 AM	#21
asdflkijd Aberry is a scammer 613 Rep 5,507 Posts Drives: SGM E92 335i, AM E90 335i Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Seattle, WA iTrader: (14) Garage List 2008 E92 335i [10.00] 2007 E90 335i (Reti ... [9.00]	These are the most important ones.. once you or your friend(s) decides to break any of the three, you are no longer entitled to be their "buddy", no longer will you call/ text them, no longer will you refer to his name in conversations, and no longer will you talk to the homey hoping 2 cent bag of chicken shit whore that you used to call your "girlfriend". Oh and the beer rule is a given, I believe this one should actually be first. I. Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone. II. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK. III. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time: A. Was an ex-girlfriend. B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her. C. Is you're buddy's sister.
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01-26-2009, 09:51 AM	#22
BForbes Moderator 605 Rep 4,240 Posts Drives: BSM 135i/AW E90 M3 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Orlando, FL iTrader: (0)	Man, I laughed SO HARD at a bunch of those. A man should not eat out of another man's hands...haha __________________ - 04 Honda S2000(gone)
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