G65/G66
BMW X5, iX5 and X6 — 2027+
| 07-07-2025, 01:45 PM | #1673 |
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Private First Class
 
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I went to the doctor recently.
He said: "Don't eat anything fatty." I said: "What, like bacon and burgers?" He said, "No fatty, don't eat anything."
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2023. X5 M50i
2019. F150 SCREW 3.5 L Ecoboost |
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| 07-08-2025, 04:45 AM | #1674 |
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Rear Commander
26942
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My wife yelled from upstairs, and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your whole body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they are stabbing it?"
I replied "No." She responded, "How about now?"
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'25 M850ix GC Tanzanite w/Black & Fiona Red
BMW CCA 31 years Is 4 years over yet? |
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| 07-09-2025, 08:18 AM | #1675 |
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Major General
 
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My local barber has been arrested for selling drugs, im in shock. I've been a customer of his for 7 years i had no idea he was a barber.
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| 07-10-2025, 04:28 AM | #1676 |
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General
79749
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What did the alien say to the cat?
''Take me to your litter.'' |
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| 07-10-2025, 04:53 AM | #1677 |
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Second Lieutenant
 
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What does a near sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose Last edited by Autoaddict; 07-10-2025 at 04:56 AM.. |
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| 07-12-2025, 05:58 AM | #1678 |
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Captain
27275
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What does the sign on the out of business brothel say?
Beat it, we're closed.
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Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
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| 07-16-2025, 04:26 AM | #1679 |
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General
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When I got a job as a human cannonball...
I was immediately fired. |
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| 07-16-2025, 07:51 PM | #1680 |
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Captain
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BB
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Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
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| 07-17-2025, 06:45 PM | #1681 |
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Captain
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VV
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Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
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| 07-19-2025, 06:08 AM | #1682 |
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Captain
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I'll tell you one thing that always catches my eye... short people with umbrellas.
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Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
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| 07-19-2025, 06:10 AM | #1683 |
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Captain
27275
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I've got the memory of an elephant. I went to the zoo once and saw an elephant.
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Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
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| 07-19-2025, 04:26 PM | #1684 | |
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Colonel
 
16524
Rep 2,014
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Quote:
What does the collision sound like?
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2014 BMW M235i
2024 Mercedes Benz GLC300 Has it been 4 years yet? |
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| 07-20-2025, 02:20 AM | #1685 |
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General
79749
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If you don't like vinegar but use it anyway, you have vinaigrette.
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| 07-20-2025, 06:38 AM | #1686 |
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Major General
15702
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2 cheese trucks ran into each other
Debrie was everywhere... |
| Yesterday, 06:17 AM | #1688 |
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Rear Commander
26942
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The inventor of the heat index recently died. He was 88 but felt like he was 107.
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'25 M850ix GC Tanzanite w/Black & Fiona Red
BMW CCA 31 years Is 4 years over yet? |
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| Today, 09:08 AM | #1689 |
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Private First Class
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Drives: M3/Z3/M5/X5/135i/PCS/SQ5
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Midwest
iTrader: (0)
Garage List 2010 BMW X5 4.8 [0.00]
1991 BMW M5 [9.50] 2011 BMW 135i [7.00] 2001 BMW Z3 3.0i [9.00] 2011 BMW M3 [0.00] |
I told a joke on a zoom meeting today and no one laughed.
Apparently I'm not remotely funny. |
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